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Movie Review: The Expendables

May 26, 2015

I can't believe I watched these movies! Even more, I can't believe how much I liked them!!

I'm trying to think of one movie I've ever sat and watched the whole way through that featured any one of these men. I've only seen parts of a few Rockys and about half the first Transporter. Oh wait, I did go to the dollar theater and see Parker, which stars Jason Statham. I would probably say he's my favorite anyway (Terry Crews, you're a close second).

But I've just head a lot of good things about these movies so I thought I'd give them a try. And I wasn't disappointed.

So the basic premise for all our under-the-rock dwellers is that Sly and pals are old dudes who like to save the world. They get their orders from a guy named Church (aka Bruce Willis) and then they're off on their mission. In the first movie, The Expendables must deal with Dolph Lundgren a crazy good guy gone bad, along with a crazy South American dictator. The second movie sees us in Russia (who didn't see that coming) and then for 3 we head to the magical world of Armenistan (I think) to track down Mel Gibson's supposed-to-be-dead former Expendables character Stonebanks. No, Stallone doesn't get to ask "How many times do I have to kill you?" and I think the movie is poorer for it.

My favorite scenes include Chuck Norris' surprise cameo in #2 (oh wait, spoiler alert) and Bruce Willis' taunt of Ah-nold - "Don't worry. He just wants to be president."

These movies are pretty gory, but I must admit there are some cool guns. I also liked how irreverent they are about the storied past of each actor. Famous lines are bandied about willy nilly. I am most disappointed that Harrison Ford, as he was flying the evac copter, did not say, "Don't get cocky" after saving the day. Sigh. Maybe in the next movie. There is a listing for The Expendables 4 on imdb.com, but there's not much info available. Maybe they will, maybe they won't.

Only time will tell.

Until then, enjoy the shoot'em-up-bang-bang fun of the three they've given us so far.

Happy watching...

p.s. If these guys think we haven't noticed that they've had some "work done" then they are on crack. You'd think, as tough guys, they'd be above this, but I guess Carly Simon was right. They are so vain...and I'm looking at you Stallone and Norris. Walker Texas Ranger had plastic surgery? Wrap your head around that!

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Amanda

Amanda is a classically-trained pianist who loves to read. Like any good librarian, she also has two cats named after Italian cities. Amanda spends her free time sitting in Nashville traffic, baking, and running the Interlibrary Loan office at the Nashville Public Library.

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